And of course, if you are leaving after thirty years, there is the poisoned chalice we often speak of at PiPS of having a certain amount of financial support in your pension; perhaps not enough to live well on but enough to get through perhaps.
Why a poison chalice?
Because having a safety net can often stop us from pushing on and forcing ourselves out of our comfort zones and doing our very best work – which being human often comes to many of us when our backs against the wall – how many times have you completed a report of a piece of work on the very last day before submission was essential?
When we have to get that job, build that company or make that sale then we are more likely to take a deep breath and do the thing we fear – making a call to someone we do not know – asking for support – reminding a contact that we are still interested.
With a financial cushion however, we might excuse ourselves from being too pushy with ourselves (never mind others) hoping that what we will want will come to us easily. After all, we are not going to starve!
And we potentially miss out on quite a lot by taking the ‘easier’ less pressing route;
- Less chances to experience and reflect our true worth
- Missed opportunities that were there for us should we have just been a little braver
- Less resilience in the longer term – knowing that we will always get up again and that a ‘no’ is rarely life threatening
- Much less chance of reaching our full potential
And they were just the ones off the top of my head, really there are so many benefits to being just even a little braver than you feel you want to be – and of course where confidence is concerned there is always – fake it until you make it!
So if things are a bit uncomfortable but not too desperate how do to get to that imperative – recreating the ‘backs against the wall’ feeling without necessarily having the pressure?
I believe that a little self reflection and honest appraisal will help. Just an honest conversation with yourself (or some tough love from us) will help you see how you might be getting in your own way.
Ask yourself –
- What do I really want?
- What would I do if I did not fear rejection/embarrassment – whatever it is for you
- What would I feel like if I were able to pull this desired outcome off?
- How badly do I want to feel that good?
The old expression is that when you get sick and tired of being sick and tired then you will act. Think about the benefits of reaching out rather than staying where you are – financial rewards are of course very helpful, but the rewards in your personal development and contentment are, in my opinion, so very very important They will make life (and you) much more interesting.
If you want support we are here, but at the very least have an honest conversation with yourself. So many people are keen to work hard – often we just do not know our next best move – just ask – the answers are right there (and over here!)
Warmest to allAngela
Call – 01737 831700
Angela Hackett – Director